Rune Factory: A Parody
by Joseph6241
Summary: In this story everyone is a bit wacky and the word turnip is big doodoo.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Sorry if my spelling is bad or it not funny but this is one of my first fan fiction so try not to be so harsh. Now then one with the story!**

_One_

"YAY!" screamed Raguna.

"WHAT THE HELL, YOU'RE HAPPY WHEN YOU LIVE IN THAT HOL-I mean house," said Mist.

Then Raguna piped up, "Yes. I'm happy living in that _hole _that you gave me."

"W-what? H-how did y-you f-f-find out it was a h-hole?" stammered Mist.

"Because it has a hot door, Mist. It has a hot door," Raguna said, as if that made him cool.

"What? I thought that you thought that I thought it was dumb!" said Mist

Instead of responding normally, Raguna made a series of incoherent 'la-la-land' noises as if they were commonsense.

"WHAT?!" Mist yelled, after a moment of eye-twitching bewilderment.

"What? What what? What what what? What?" Raguna said as if he was asking her about something.

"I hate you," Mist stated finally.

"Yeah, I know that," Raguna said in a huffed up tone.

Then Danny came over to Raguna's field and asked Mist what they were doing. "What are you doing?"

"I won't tell," Mist said, thinking that it was best to preserve poor Danny's sanity by not sharing her and Raguna's verbal exchange.

Danny started to plead Mist to tell him "PLEASE TELL ME!" Danny yelled, stressing the word 'me'.

"No," Mist said firmly.

"Oh, tell him already, Mist. I mean look at him, he's so... so very helpless. Mist, why don't you help the poor dog- I mean man?" Raguna said, head cocked in the girls direction, gazing at Mist as if she was shunning a puppy.

"NO! NO WAY! NO WAY IN _HELL!_" Mist yelled.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! TELL ME, MIST, OR I WILL STOP SELLING YOU _**TURNIPS!**_" Danny yelled with anger aplenty.

Mist gasped as if Danny had stabbed Raguna in a fit of rage. "NO! PLEASE NOT THE _**TURNIPS!**_ I will tell you but not the _**TURNIPS!**_"

"Hey hey hey, people it's... ME. Me being Marco, know that people the name's _Marco._" Marco had, for some unknown reason, come to visit Raguna's farm-hole.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MARCO?!" Mist yelled. Her patience that day had been a thread. Raguna's discovery of the hole, Danny's threat to confiscate her turnips, coupled with Marco's mysterious appearance had been as good as a pair of scissors.

"I'm being _Marco, Marco _being me," Marco said as if this would justify murder. And just so you now Marco was poking a slug that was three feet long. Just putting that out there.

"Okay, Danny, I will tell you what I was doing. I was talking to Raguna," Mist said, defeated.

"Okay... what was Raguna doing?" Danny said, with a little bit of sarcasm.

"WHAT?! YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HE WAS DOING! THE SAME THING AS ME!" Mist screamed.

"So... he was talking to himself?" Danny said as if he was stupid. Which, you know, he kind of was.

"WHAT THE HELL!? THE HELL DID YOU ASK FOR ANYWAY!?" Mist yelled so madly her head was sore.

"Well... I do want to know what you were doing," Danny said with a lot of sarcasm.

**Well there y' have it, that the story I got your welcome **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rune Factory Frontier... or Coca-cola...or Vanilla Ice... or Micheal Jackson...or the three little pigs.**

_Two_

Raguna was in his hole of a home listening to Vanilla Ice, drinking coca-cola and dancing like Micheal Jackson. Then Mist hit the door, and Raguna said, "Don't hit the hot door!" And Raguna was right the door was so hot that it brunt Mist's hand. "OH OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OWWWCHH!" Mist yelled, then Raguna poked his head out of the window and said, "if you are a wolf then I wont let you in by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin!" "I am not a wolf!" said Mist. "pfft! Try to blow my house down and it will! Go on try!"said Raguna, "fine, ah-foo!" said mist as Ragunas house blew away, "oh no's!" yelled Raguna in a sarcastic tone,and then he ran to the church just because it was made of brick and Raguna knew that in the story

he was thinking about,the pigs ran to the brick house and did not git eaten,however when he got to the church all Stella said was "this is a church not a house if you came here to hide from Mists bad, evil,stinky, horrible breath you need a new hole to hide in, boy." as she said this the whole church flew in to the air.

"I will blow down everything!" Yelled Mist. "Wait! Don't eat me, anything I say anything, just please don't eat me!" begged Raguna, then Mist looked thoughtful for a second "Okay Raguna, how about this, you trim my lawn, and I let you of the hook. How is that?" Raguna complied but with a single question, "With what do I trim your lawn with?" "Why, this rusty, bloody, smelly, evil scythe of course!" Mist said almost cheerfully.

After that Raguna ran off and Stella turned to Mist and said "You owned his ass a Minuit ago, y' know that, right?"

**So that was chapter two, well I hope you all like this story, because it may not seem like it, but this is a ton of effort on my part, but I'll keep on writing it for you all. Anyway thanks for reading it, and always R'R.**

**(What is R'R?)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rune Factory Frontier.**

_Three_

After a day of long, tedious work full of sweat and physical labor, Raguna had finally finished cutting Mist's grass.

And it revealed what nobody had expected.

Raguna wiped his brow and sighed, 'Knowing Mist she'll just give me a turnip or something for all of this work- OH, hey a hole in the ground! Yay me!' thought Raguna to himself.

Within the next few minutes, Raguna had gotten over it and went to Mist's home and started to bug her for money, and to bug her about the hole.

"Oh Raguna... silly Raguna. Here is a _**TURNIP**_ for allll... of your work.

and that grassy spot made it so I could not see the hole." said Mist in her usual stoned voice.

"I. DO. NOT. WANT. A. _**TURNIP**_. OK? And you owe me like, 4000 gold anyway, but now you 5000 gold to me an' I wan' 'em all on my desk by SUNRISE. On a different note I'm going to go in there and... Well I don't know WHAT I'll do, but it will be awesome," retaliated Raguna.

"What desk?" was all Mist could say to that. 'How could he not want a _**TURNIP**_?!' was all she could think to that.

DUN DUN DUN!

Meanwhile, Kross was still standing next to his mail box wondering why nobody had come talk to him. In fact, he hadn't gotten mail for the last week. Surely they couldn't forget about him for THAT long. Right? Right?

DUN DUN DUN!

By now, Raguna had obtained a sword and reached the hole, "So we meet again, hole. Well, now I have a sword, and you don't so I win! Ha ha!"

And with that Raguna hopped down the hole.

_**TO BE CONTINUED.**_

**And there is the next chapter!**

**Also ego needs reinforcement so review all you want and then some.**

**And thanks for reading this trash!**

**And thanks to Llamalol for the positive review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Rune Factory.**

_Four_

When Raguna landed in the hole his first thought was 'Wow! That's one bad smell! …hm... there's not a lot here.'

Then a squirrel ran past his foot.

After many hours of smacking the ground around his foot for fear it would bite him he noticed that there was some vine's blocking a door. he walked over to it and whacked the vine's for a few moment's. after that he walked out of the small room he was in.

**15 minuets later...**

By now Raguna had encountered and killed a chicken, four squirrels, a mutant mushroom monster, and a deadly poison vine.

And Raguna had only just noticed how hungry he was. "To bad I left that chicken back at the way in this place..." He looked to his side and noticed a body of water. but what he noticed a lot was that there was fish in the body of water "Hm! To bad I don't have a fishing pole!"remarked Raguna.

He then strolled to the door that looked like it was designed to be imposing.

It was automatic and opened without Raguna having to lift a finger.

He fixed his belt which had snapped three times by now.

Then he slowly walked in to the big room and insistently felt small.

DUN DUN DUN!

The fat girl at the inn was still standing on the stairs wondering why nobody had come to the inn...

DUN DUN DUN!

Raguna heard a loud flapping sound. And then a lion mixed with a chicken landed in front of him.

"CHICKENS DON'T FLY, YOU FREAK OF NATURE!"

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

**And there's four!**

**Bu-ya! I'm on a roll!**

**Thanks for all reviews, ShadowStabber101, nekodemon667, Secretlnkiness!And there's scientific proof (Not) that rubbing your face on the keyboard **

**works well to make a bad fan-fiction!**

**See all of you later in the next chapter of Rune Factory: A Parody!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN RUNE FACTORY.**

_Five_

The griffin stared at Raguna blankly and cocked it's head to the side.

"Ah-ha! I see your scared out of your wit's! Ah-ha!" Raguna boomed.

The griffin then made a sound similar to nail's being scraped against a chalkboard. "Okay, so maybe you ain't so scared out of your wit's!?" Raguna yelped as he ran for cover behind a giant egg. 'Ah... save at last. Hey! This egg is cracked!" and the egg he was hiding behind was not cracked. It was cracking. Within the next few seconds the egg had finished cracking and out of the came a chicken similar to the one he killed when he came in to the cave. The griffin had spotted him and attacked. First it spewed fire. which Raguna dodged by ducking. But the chicken countered by jumping in his face and pecking. "Ow! Get out of my face!" Raguna yelled. And the chicken happily complied. It flew down to his foot and then it shit on his foot.

"EW! I knew chickens were gross but not that gross!" Raguna yelled.

By now the griffin decided that Raguna was boring and laid down to take a nap. "Well, that makes my job A LOT easier" with that Raguna wiped the shit off his shoe and stabbed the chicken, after all, priorities first. He fixed his belt again because it snapped AGAIN. And then he walked to the griffin, took his sword, and stabbed it in the face. "Hm... I'm still hungry... and nobody's coming down here..." Raguna trailed off.

**30 minutes later.**

By now Raguna had cooked the griffin and eaten the griffin.

By using it's small intestine as a rope Raguna got out of the hole.

"Well that's done." Raguna said.

**Well there's five!**

**All reviews are welcome!**

**And I can heat up roast beef if you give me a flame. (But, please, don't.)**

**Huh... two chapters in one day... that means I'm writing more than twice as fast as do most of the time!**

**And it turns out that rubbing your face on the keyboard DOES. NOT. WORK.**

**And now I have a poll Please vote!**


End file.
